Crushable is Craft Beer’s version of “Drinkability”

Tongue and cheek humor and not intended for use in actual opinion forming.

If you’ve been around craft beer long enough you have heard the term “crushable” at least once. Maybe not in public but on the bevy of social media platforms out there, your eyes or ears have been privy to the “bro-iest” of craft beer slang. The term “crushable” is a slang term used to define the ease in which a beer can consumed.

Some might call them “all day drinkers” (I can make up terms too). Simply put, the term describes low ABV beers with great taste that goes down so smooth only Frank the Tank could dare describe. 

frank the tang

I can only imagine in way in which such a term would ingratiate itself in the American lexicon of slang for craft beer drinkers. I picture the party screen from Revenge of the Nerds, where the Alpha Betas are hosting a party and those participating are crushing beer cans over each others heads to show how well they can take a crushing. Then it’s on to the fireball and one thing leads to the next….our house is burning down.

Image result for revenge of the nerds alpha beta party

Not that I am not a fan of slang or any vernacular in which one can describe feelings with terms that demonstrate ability or prowess, I just feel the term leaves a “drinkability” feeling in my mouth. If I were to use such term my mother would choose to wash my mouth out with soap a la Ralphie in A Christmas Story where the term “fudge” was said with such careless indulgence.

In order to better understand the crudeness of said “slang” I turned to none other than to help me begin to understand the youth of today and the relentless use of the english language. Reading through the article a few of them caught my eye.

GlassWhalez – a term used for rare or desireable glassware to serve beer. Now while I’m one for the proper glassware I’m sure that my good friend Alex from BYOCB would hate this term as he believes all beer should be served in a shaker glass. I guess there are two sides to an imperfect coin after all.

Waffle- Poorly made Belgium beer…..while I can understand if someone in the US attempts to make a Belgium style beer may be “waffle-ly” if done wrong, I was shocked to see their example to refer to Brussels as a spot where one might get a waffle. For shame! Have you no decency to the fine makers of beer in the greatest European country in the EU!

Shame Shield – to hide one’s amount of alcohol consumption in an obscure and generic everyday cardboard container. You know what else can hide ones amount of alcohol? Not drinking egregious amounts of alcohol.

I could go on on and on but halfway through the list I found my Porron barren from my latest whale and I had to jaunt off the the newest thoroughbred brewery to tick another great beer off the list. And on that note, I say good day sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!!!!


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